The end of Tinsley Towers - how to work out where you are from

Last updated : 20 August 2008 By DavidR
To help you with this dilemma, Millersmad has obtained an exclusive copy of the questionnaire that the local press use to determine this issue. Just follow the questions below and you'll soon know where you're from.

[Locality questionnaire for use in preparing articles for the Star, Radio Sheffield, Yorkshire Post, Look North, Calendar etc]

Q1 - were you born, brought up or do you now live in Rotherham?
If "yes", go to Q3; otherwise, go to Q2

Q2 - were you born, brought up or do you know live in Sheffield?
If "yes", got to Q3; otherwise, you are not from Rotherham or Sheffield. You may not even be from South Yorkshire and are possibly southern or foreign. Seek professional help.

Q3 - have you just won an Olympic gold medal, a motorbike race, found a cure for cancer, or otherwise achieved any form of success in any field whatsoever?
If "yes", you are from Sheffield, even though you might have thought you were from Rotherham, unless you can answer yes to Q7; otherwise, go to Q5

Q5 - have you at least driven through any part of the Metropolitan Borough of Rotherham on your way somewhere else?
If "yes", go to Q6; otherwise, you probably need to get out more.

Q6 - have you just been filmed doing something stupid, immoral, illegal, nauseating, embarrassing etc (e.g. pushing 4 tons of chips through a school gate into the open mouths of a 5 year old; having incestuous relationships; being unable to string a sentence together; displaying intolerance towards any minority group)?
If "yes", you are from Rotherham, even though you might have thought were from Sheffield. Otherwise, you are from "near Sheffield".

Q7 - are you being interviewed for Look North or Calendar?
If yes, you are in fact from Leeds.